Transfer News

Well, transfer news came out yesterday and I feel like opening that email is almost like opening my mission call all over again. It's really strange as a missionary because you never know what the Lord will call you to do next, or where he will ask you to go. In my interview with President last week he warned me that though I wouldn't be training a new missionary this transfer, he felt strongly that I should prepare myself to train in the future. Well obviously Heavenly Father had something else in mind. Sister Starkie will be serving in Halifax and I will stay here in New Glasgow and will be training a new missionary straight from the MTC. I cried more yesterday than I have since I left home 3 short months ago. Here I am, a brand new missionary myself, called to train. I'm going to need a whole lot of prayer (and a giant caramilk bar) to get through this. I am so grateful to know that President Leavitt is an inspired man and that if this is what the Lord wants me to do than by golly I'm going to do it. And I'm going to do it with all that I have. 

I feel like reality hasn't sunk in yet. I can't imagine doing the work without Sister Starkie. There are moments where I feel similar to the way Christ's apostles must have felt when he calmed the tempest. "And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship." Christ was asleep and the disciples ran to wake him saying, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" And he arose and rebuked the wind and said, "Peace be Still". And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. He said unto them, "Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?" As I read the letter from President yesterday I was so afraid. I can't even keep my room clean, or walk down an icy driveway without falling over.. how in the world am I to teach this new missionary how to represent Jesus Christ? I've only been in Canada for 2 1/2 months, how could the Lord expect ME to be a trainer? Why would he trust ME to help one of His precious servants grow to love the work? The waves and the winds were beating on my heart as doubts filled my mind,and it hurt. It's a scary thought that I will be the one in charge, that someone will be looking to ME for guidance and counsel. But the famous quote from Uchtdorf came to mind. "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." Though the storm may rage, I am grateful to know that there is one who will calm the seas. For really, I am not in charge, HE is. I am not where anyone should look for guidance, HE is, and whom the Lord calls, he qualifies. 

Now were I to say I knew what I was to do, I'd be lying. I feel kind of like Nephi when he goes to slay Laban as he says "I was led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." There are a million things running through my mind at any given time and I seem to have a constant set of butterflies fluttering in my stomach ever since yesterday morning. It will be difficult to say goodbye to Sister Starkie because of the love and gratitude I have for her. She taught me the secret to missionary work is WORK! and that's the same principle I plan to teach my new companion when I pick her up and bring her back to New Glasgow this Thursday. 

The work is really moving forward in New Glasgow. We have 3 investigators that have agreed to be baptized, but each faces their own personal challenges. It's amazing to see their countenance change over time and instead of us begging them to meet with us again, they ask how soon we can come back. I know this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be at this time and though there are moments where I feel extremely inadequate and overwhelmed.. I find rest through my Savior, Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. I know that He lives and that He loves me. I'm so grateful to be a missionary and know this coming week will bring many challenges, but also the opportunity to learn and grown and become the missionary that Heavenly Father knows I can become. 

Thanks for all your support and love and prayers, they mean more than you know! 

Love

Sister Breanna Burton