I love it here so much it's so charming and cute. We see deer running all over the place too. The area kinda reminds me of Island Park. Lots of trees and animals and snow and stuff. It's getting colder so I was really excited to get all my winter clothes today. My coat is good til -30 C so I should be good all winter, though it does kinda make me feel like an Eskimo.
The best part of the week was definitely Saturday! Jessie got baptized! WAhoo!! Interesting story actually. They asked me to play the piano, and I accepted, assuming I could pick the songs considering I was the only option of a pianist and my ability to play is so limited. Friday night I find out they've already printed the programs saying that we would be singing two Hymns I have never played before in my life. Anyone who knows my piano skills will know I about had an anxiety attack. But they talked me into trying to learn the songs before Saturday night. However, I only had about an hour during lunch to practice... So, trusting in the Lord I fasted all day Saturday, asking for Heavenly Fathers help to learn these piano songs. I was pretty confident he wouldn't abandon a missionary, right? haha I practiced as hard as I could for that hour and then decided I would just pray the Lord would guide my fingers as I played that night. So the time of the baptisms rolls around and the opening hymn announced.. I was fairly confident that with the strength of the Lord, I was going to be able to play this darn Hymn better than anyone has played it before. I was wrong. It was a complete failure. You could hardly tell what song I was even attempting to play. It was awful. A complete disaster. Pretty sure they'll never ask me to play for anything ever again. I was pretty disappointed. Why wouldn't Heavenly Father help me play that piece? I did everything I could, and prayed as hard as I could... and nothing. I was embarrassed that anyone in the Branch had to witness it. How could Heavenly Father let me make such a fool of myself? I honestly had felt so confident that he would help me. Well I decided I had to put it out of my head because this was Jessie's baptism for goodness sakes (and Jessie is probably in my top 10 favorite people in the world) I had the opportunity to teach her, to get to know her, and to watch her make a covenant with Heavenly Father through baptism. I felt the spirit so strong I wanted to feel that way forever! And then I remember this one little thing I'd almost forgotten about baptisms.. the closing Hymn. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know how to play the closing Hymn any better than the opening. But I didn't want to ruin the spirit that had been brought into the chapel with Jessie's sweet testimony. I prayed so hard that some miracle would happen. I sat down at the piano, opened to the page and began to play. I didn't miss a single note. I had never played the piece all the way through before and yet, my fingers just knew where to go. You should've seen the look on my companions face. (she'd been listening to me practice during lunch) The song was beautiful and the spirit was so strong. It truly was a miracle. I've tried to play the same hymn since and I couldn't even play the top hand. The Lord certainly was watching over us. Being am missionary is just incredible!!
Another thing I have learned this week (other than to never volunteer to play at baptisms) is that putting on a name tag doesn't change who you are. The Atonement does. Repentance does. Prayer does. Anyone can put on a name tag, but it doesn't change anything about them until they decide to let the Savior in. Thinking back on my pre-mission life (sometimes it feels like forever ago haha) I realize just how much I was missing out on. It reminds me of the mormon message about the man who went on a cruise but stayed in his cabin the whole time and ate canned food and such, and on the last day discovered that everything the entertainment, the food, everything had been included in the ticket price. I think it's called "Living Beneath your Privileges" or something like that. If you don't know what I am talking about, look it up because it's awesome. The gift of the Holy Ghost is an amazing thing that we often take for granted. We don't realize that we truly are entitled to the direction, guidance, comfort, and strength of a member of the Godhead at all times. What an incredible gift! I have so many things to work on, and every day I strive to be a little better. But it's amazing to see the growth and progression that takes place within your heart and you finally let go or everything holding you back, and decide to live up to your privileges. So take it from a girl who can't play the piano to save her life.. Heavenly Father cares. He loves each of us and wants nothing more than for us to turn our hearts to him. I absolutely LOVE being a missionary. Sometimes it's hard and I feel like rolling into a ball and staying there for awhile haha but ultimately I know that the promise found in D&C 24:12 is so real. "at all times and in all places he shall open his mouth and declare my gospel... and I will give unto him strength such as is not known among men." What a blessing it is to be a member of this great church! I love you all and hope you have a great week!! :)
Love,
Sister Burton
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